zinderant:
vaspider:
pearwaldorf:
You want some serious old fart advice? Never, ever lend your friends more money than you think you can lose permanently. I don’t fucking care if they say they’ll pay you back. I don’t care how small the amount is. Write that shit off as gone in your mind. It will eat at you forever if you don’t.
Some people say the same thing about family, but I think it applies more to friends. Family is (usually) held together by obligations the way friends aren’t. And money is a huge stressor in all kinds of relationships, not just romantic.
I’m not saying this to bum you out. I’m telling you because this is not something you want to learn on your own. Because it fucking sucks to realize it’s one reason you’re no longer friends, whether you were necessarily aware of it or not.
I generally go one step further: I do not lend friends money at all. I will give you what I can afford to give, and I ask you to pay forward what you can when you can, give to someone else who needs it. This policy has really served me well. When I’m giving money, I never have to worry if I’ll get it back – I won’t! It’s a gift! No stress!
One piece of advice I read that strikes me as the best of all worlds: if someone asks you for money, and you can afford to give it to them, you give it with the reassurance that it is a gift. They can pay it back, but they’re not required to. But, and this is the part you don’t mention, if they ask you for more money, you don’t give them any unless they’ve previously returned what you originally gave. This maintains trust and mutual respect, and prevents the giver from being taken advantage of.
(via dabwax)